DoS jokes
What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?
A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
What do you call a girl with one leg? Ilean.
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
What do you call a cow with no leg?
Memes
What do squats eat? Numbers.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
If you're ever bored, just slap an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?