DoS Jokes

A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...

A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.

"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"

Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"

"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"

Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"

"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"

Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"

What do you call gay men receiving anonymous blowjobs at the glory holes inside an adult bookstore?

Norwegian massage.

What do you call a flat emo?

A cutting board.

What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.

What do you call a bad "egg" meme?

Deep fried!

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.

What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer.

What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer.

What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?

The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.

Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"

What do rapists like to suck?

The life out of their victim.

What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.

How do you put a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀

What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?

A school shooting.

What do cheetahs say?

"Cheese-ah!"

What do you call onions and beans?

Tear gas.

What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?

I couldn't give a fuck about either.

Bad joke: Why is it easy to bully orphans? Because what are they going to do, tell their parents?

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces!! HAHAHA

Girl: I like girls.

Dad: Ok?

Girl 2: I like girls too.

Dad: Okay, so who likes boys?!

Boy: I do.

Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"

What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?

Mario.