DoS jokes
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
What do you call a gay French man?
A faguette!
Memes
What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. π€π€‘
Why do orphans hate smart kids?
Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.
Why do ghosts go to bars?
For the boos!
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
What do you call a lying Mexican?
Pinocchico.
What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A chopping board.
What do you call a black astronaut? A black astronaut, you racist.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Should I do a face reveal?