DoS jokes
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
Everyone says "no homo," why do gays not say "no hetero?"
Memes
Do you want to hear three jokes?
Joke Joke Joke.
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
What do you call a blonde?
A piss-head.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
What do you call a burger ๐ with one eye?
A one giant.
What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.
I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "Iโm doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."
What do you call purple when it's being mean? Violent.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
What do you call a gay French man?
A faguette!
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.
Iran: So?
Japan: Twice!
What do you call a lying Mexican?
Pinocchico.