DoS Jokes

I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.

What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

If you're bored, pull a Technoblade, bully orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make him clap until his parents come back.

The image shows three panels. The first one is titled "Original" and shows a cartoon of SpongeBob and Patrick from the cover of a Nickelodeon book called "The Great Ice Cream Caper". The second panel, titled "X-ray", shows a simple cartoon of SpongeBob with a red tie but with his internal organs exposed. The last panel shows the same image but with more details in his internal organs. The text "How do we know it's not actually..." is written at the top of the last two panels.

What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?

Hot wheels.

What do Black people and chains have in common? Both work better with chains on them?

Why do you make fun of disabled people?

They can't stand up for themselves.

How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?

The wheelchair floats to the top.

What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.

What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.

What do you call a Mexican without a car?

Carlos.

What do you call a vegan cow?

A vegan cow. :/

A regular cow. 🐄🙌

The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.

Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

I don't ever really bother women, but when I do, I usually just want to talk. I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5, I get shutdown so fast. I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring.

Why are Communists considered the left?

Because they can’t do anything right.

What do women and moldy bread have in common?

A yeast infection.

Why do white people colonize everything?

To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.

How do you know if a homophobic woman that is a Christian nationalist and Catholic is poor enough she would be desperate enough to do anything to pay her bills?

she would be willing to perform anilingus and cunnilingus on women regardless of their sexual orientation in the LGBT community.

What did one cheese say to the other cheese?

"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.