DoS jokes
What do you call a terrorist that can fly?
A dart.
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."
Memes
How do you find a blind man on a nude beach?
Itβs not hard.
What do you call a 3 humped camel?
Answer: a prostitute from New York. πππ
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
What do you call an Arab and a black man flying a plane?
Pilots. You racist f*ck.
What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?
The Stigg.
Me: I will rape you!
Woman: NOOOOOO!!! I AM TOO SCARED TO GET "RAPED"!
Why do women be like this?
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"