DoS jokes
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
Where do you get milk from? The Milky Way, of course!
Why do I call my priest daddy?
Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.
One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
Memes
What does a robot do after a one night stand?
He nuts 'n bolts!
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
Q: What do you call America in a year? A: A wasteland.
You know what to do with this?
Get it to the same amount of dislikes and likes!
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
What do big fat male cows have?
Moobs.
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? You kick his sister in the jaw.
What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD!