DoS jokes
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
Memes
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fffffsshhhhhh
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
So you know "The Lion King."
Do you remember Simba?
Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.
So I told him to Mufasa.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.