DoS jokes
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
Memes
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Spice
What do you call a rapper who LOVES gardening?
MC Planter.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.