DoS jokes
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
Technoblade says, "Punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?"
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.
Memes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
Also, what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
Sum Ting Wong.
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
Do you know what you call a bunch of depressed kids?
"Suicide Squad!"
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"