DoS jokes
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
Memes
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
How do you know you had a gay cookout?
All the hotdogs taste like ass.
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
How do you know you’re at a gay church?
Half the congregation is kneeling.
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sisters pussy taste funny
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?
"Probably the dishes."
I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.
BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."