DoS jokes

What do you call a Black man having a seizure?

Chocolate shake.

How do you know you’re at a gay church?

Half the congregation is kneeling.

What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?

MC Presto.

Why do orphans hate hide and seek?

Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

Why do disabled people not like comedians?

Because they do stand up.

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

How do you know you had a gay cookout?

All the hotdogs taste like ass.

What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?

A green bean.

What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?

Lil' Spice

What do you call a rapper who LOVES gardening?

MC Planter.

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

What do you call a funny rapper?

A PUN-ISHER!

What do Hiroshima and Herobrine have in common?

They're not heroes.

How do tourists feed their kids?

Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!

Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.

Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?

Angela: His name is Kevin.

Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?

Angela: I don't know.