DoS jokes
How does the cheetah do in every race?
It’s always a cheetah.
What do you call a fat duck?
Donald Duck.
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Memes
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
100% of them are like him!
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
What do you call a bald Mexican?
A huevo.
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.
Why do Mexicans only drink hot drinks?
Because they're afraid of ice!
Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Disabled.