DoS jokes
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
What do you call a PEIS?
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.
Memes
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
What do you call a sad Doge?
What?
Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do. What a good night of a good [something].
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.