DoS jokes
"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
Memes
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Spice
What do you call a rapper who LOVES gardening?
MC Planter.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!