DoS jokes
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A pork chop.
Memes
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
You: What you doing?
I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
What do you call a PEIS?
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.