DoS jokes

If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?

What do you call a cow in a moving van?

A: A mooving cow.

Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?

Answer: Because he sucks!

I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Both can't see their parents.

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.

Why do orphans always come back?

Because I love cock.

What do you call a living Panera Bread?

Panera Breath.

What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he says.

What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.

How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!

What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.

What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?

Hot wheels.

What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?

Geo dude.

What do you call two black lads in gold?

A Twix.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

What do you call a rapper who LOVES gardening?

MC Planter.

What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?

MC Presto.