DoS jokes
Why do they call it abortion? Because they aborted the mission.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
Memes
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
Ima start callin' these hoes roosters, 'cause any cock-a-do.
A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.
I don't know, my friend did it.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
There is a dark alley. Who do you call?
Batman.
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.