DoS jokes
What do you call a wingless fly?
A walk!
What do you call a mom that is yours?
Your mom!
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
Memes
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
Why do they call it abortion? Because they aborted the mission.
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.
There is a dark alley. Who do you call?
Batman.