Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
DoS Jokes
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Alright, what do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.
"Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."
The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Why do orphans always become criminals?
Because they want to feel wanted.
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?
There's no Jack!
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
You: What you doing?
I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
