DoS jokes
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Memes
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
What do my balls and emos have in common?
...Nothing, they both hang themselves...
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.
Why do orphans get in trouble at school?
Because the school doesn't have any parents to report to.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until their parents come home.
What do you call a one-legged China man?
Ty Whon Shu.
Name something an orphan can't do?
Go cry to their mommy.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
What do you call a selfie taken by an orphan?
A family portrait.