DoS jokes
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
Memes
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?
Angel food cake! 🎂🥳
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Why do mountains get so big?
They have no natural predators.
Hey guys! Ello here with an update!
I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
What do Orphans say on Father's Day?
Well, not "Happy Father's Day."
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they always return.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
Everyone punch orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?