DoS jokes
Y'all are so rude on here. If you don't like what I put on MY profile, you can click your rude ass off of my profile and look at some other fucking jokes. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING RUDE TO SAY ABOUT ME!
Why do orphans eat their cereal dry? Their dad hasn’t come back with the milk.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck a big dick.
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
Memes
What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?
A sex-a-phone.
What's the grossest mission NASA could do?
Probing Uranus.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!