DoS jokes

What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!

How do you make a plumber cry?

Kill his whole family.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

Why do mountains get so big?

They have no natural predators.

Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?

So they don't whistle on the way down!

Hey guys! Ello here with an update!

I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!

Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.

What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

“Let me start,” says the son.

“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

“Your right!” He replies.

“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.

Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃

How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.

How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.

What do orphans do after they win a game?

Nothing, they have no one to play games with.

Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?

Because they don't have another pair of balls.

What do you call a fake speedrunner?

Dream.

Why do people eat food?

Coz it tastes good lol.

What do you call somebody in America that is smart?

An immigrant.

Why do orphans love boomerangs?

Because they always return.

What do birds and children have in common?

If you shoot them, they die.

"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."