DoS jokes
Why do mountains get so big?
They have no natural predators.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Hey guys! Ello here with an update!
I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!
Memes
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
What do you call an Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel.
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
What do Orphans say on Father's Day?
Well, not "Happy Father's Day."
What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
Why do people eat food?
Coz it tastes good lol.
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in glue?
Sticky Minaj.
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
How do get a nun pregnant? Fuck her!