Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
DoS Jokes
What's the grossest mission NASA could do?
Probing Uranus.
What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow.
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
If bedbugs live in beds, where do cockroaches live?
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
