DoS jokes
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
Memes
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
What did Ahsan do?
Meow meow.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
Why do cemeteries have fences?
Because people are dying to be there.
Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.
Why do orphans love a room of mirrors?\n\nBecause they're surrounded by loved ones!