DoS jokes

What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?

They always getting hit.

How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?

When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.

Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.

Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."

Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."

What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

What do you call the heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson?

Jeffrey Epstein.

Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

How do skyscrapers make friends?

They reach out.

How do rappers stay cool in the studio?

They turn on the mic and DROP THE HEAT!

How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.

What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.

What do planes and offices have in common?

They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.

What kind of drinks does Michael Joseph Jackson like to drink? Boysenberry tea-hee-hee, and tea-hee-hee.

One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod