DoS jokes
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
What do you white people use as pronouns?
Crack/her.
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.
Memes
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
What do you call a cute door?
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
What do you call someone who fixes walls?
Juan, probably.
Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?
Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics.