DoS jokes
What do superheroes put in their drinks?
Just ice.
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
Memes
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
Do you know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing?
Except at a funeral.
Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?
Because when they win, they lose.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free...
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?