DoS jokes
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
What do you call Joyce when she's running from the Russians?
Winona Hider.
Memes
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the cow.
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
Where do surfers go to school?
Boarding school.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Why do orphans use Samsung?
Because iPhones have home buttons.
What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?
A family picture.
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?
What do you call a blind German? A not-see Nazi.
Sans: What do you have there?
Frisk: A KNIFE!
Sans: NOO!!!
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.