DoS jokes
What do sloths and depressed people have in common?
They both hang from the tree.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
I am deciding to do songs on this app... so I am a type songs. If you want a specific song typed I will type just comment!
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
Memes
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What type of pictures do orphans take?
Selfies.
Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Neither did she.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.
Why do birds fly south?
Because it's too far to walk.
What did Jamie do after the sucky sucky?
He gagged!
Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.
And that's what made him go down in history.
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.