DoS jokes
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait/A selfie.
Memes
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
What do 7 year old girls want?
To be ate!
My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
Q: What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A: A family picture.
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.
What did Jamie do after the sucky sucky?
He gagged!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! (aka dinner)
I like ramen. If you do, like!
Why do orphans want parents? Because they don't want to be left out.
What do cake and baseball have in common?
Both need batters.
What instruments do skeletons like to play?
Trombones.