DoS jokes
What do 7 year old girls want?
To be ate!
What do 9-year-old girls want? To be ate again!
My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
Memes
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Why do orphans only have iPhone 10+?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
A dictator.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home plate is.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait/A selfie.
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.