DoS jokes
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Memes
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
What do you call Joyce when she's running from the Russians?
Winona Hider.
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
What do you say to an emo's wrist?...
"I like ur cut G."
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
What do you call a Punjabi that’s drowning? Mandeep.
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.
What game console do emergency vehicles play? Wii U!!!
Why do y’all do this?
Because you're lonely.
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Neither did she.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
They can never find home.