DoS jokes
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
Memes
murder
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
Cotton waiting to be picked.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free...
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
How do rappers stay cool in the studio?
They turn on the mic and DROP THE HEAT!
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?