DoS jokes
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
What do you call a shadow?
Tyrone, don’t be a coon!
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Memes
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What do you call a group of jumping Mexicans?
Border hoppers! LOL.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What do you call an Indian in a shower?
A cleaner.
Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?
Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the cow.
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.