DoS jokes
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang off trees.
Memes
Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.
If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?
They crash and burn.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
What do you call a blind German? A not-see Nazi.
Sans: What do you have there?
Frisk: A KNIFE!
Sans: NOO!!!
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.
My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family photo.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
Why do orphans hate dodgeball?
No one misses them.
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"