DoS jokes

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

Give them a Sandy Hook.

My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?

Chelsea Clinton.

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”

George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”

Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?

Answer: a Carnivwhore.

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

How do you know Adam and Eve were White?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?

What do nail polish and panties have in common?

Both come off with alcohol.

What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?

Fruit Loops.

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?

House of Pain—"Jump Around."

What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!

How do flat-earthers travel?

On a plane.

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?

Me time.

How do you break up a fight between two gay men?

Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.