DoS jokes
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
How do skyscrapers make friends?
They reach out.
Memes
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
What do you call Holly and Elenji?
A couple.
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
What do you call a group of jumping Mexicans?
Border hoppers! LOL.