DoS jokes
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
Memes
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
Why do orphans get iPhones 11?
Because it has no home page.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
What do you call people who jumped in the dam?
A dam fool.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
What do you call a German lesbian?
A Kraut Muncher.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.