DoS jokes
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
Boy: *scares girl*
Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"
Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*
Girl: What work?
Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Memes
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
What do you call a flat chested emo girl?
Cutting board.
What do you call a black woman?
A Nigg-girl.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
What do you call an orphan's family picture?
A selfie.
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
What do you call people who jumped in the dam?
A dam fool.