DoS jokes

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress up as the altar boy.

How do you catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

Do you know what I found in my letter soup?

A space.

Do you know why Peter Pan is always flying?

Because he Neverlands!

What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.

How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?

Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.

Why do orphans love playing tennis?

Because it’s the only love they get.

What do 9/10 people enjoy?

Gang rape.

Why do hospitals have air conditioning?

To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.

Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?

Getting your fingers stuck in there.

What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

Kate: Can we have a threesome?

Trevor: Sure.

The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.

What do you call a lesbian? Me.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.

Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.

A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"

And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."

And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"

And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."

What do you call a fish with two knees?