DoS jokes

What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.

What do you call a butt that kills people?

An ASSassin :)

How do you start an Ethiopian rave?

Stick toast to the ceiling.

How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?

The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.

What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?

A tongue workout!

What do you call a person with cancer?

A ghost with a body.

What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?

Little Seizures.

I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.

But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.

After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."

What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you ain't already told her twice.

I hate these double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"

How do you give a redneck a circumcision?

You kick his sister in the jaw.

Guy 1: P-gay or T-gay?

Guy 2: P-gay sounds cooler.

Guy 1: Yeah me too. I don't like P-ewDiePie, always love T-series.

Guy 2: Omg what did i just say? I wasn't even knowing what were you talking about :<

Guy 1: Like I do care :$

Guy 3: But I do care :<

Guy 1: F*ck you.

Guy 3: Do it.

Guy 2: But you do care about me.

Guy 3: No.

Guy 2: F*ck you.

Guy 3: Do it.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"

She pulls out a knife and fork.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.

What do 9/10 people enjoy?

Gang rape.

Why do orphans love playing tennis?

Because it’s the only love they get.