DoS jokes
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?
Father-less.
Memes
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."