What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
DoS Jokes
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress up as the altar boy.
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do 9/10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
Why do orphans love playing tennis?
Because it’s the only love they get.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
