DoS jokes
What do you call a space Muslim?
A Tusken Raider.
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Memes
What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?
Father-less.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
What do you call a baby Mexican? A paragraph because they aren’t a full essay.
What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.