DoS jokes
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Memes
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh!