DoS jokes
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
Memes
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!