DoS jokes
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
What do you call it when two Mexicans fight?
Juan on Juan.
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
Memes
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
Why do orphans play GTA?
They want to be wanted.
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
What do you call California during a forest fire?
Completely normal.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Do you love me?
No, Papa.
#### you!
What do you call a one-legged Asian?
Tie Won Shoo.