DoS jokes
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
Memes
What do you call a Mexican that has lost his car?
Carlos!
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!