What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
DoS Jokes
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
What do you call a space Muslim?
A Tusken Raider.
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?
Father-less.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
