DoS jokes
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Answer: Ho Lee Fuk.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
Memes
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
What do you call a space Muslim?
A Tusken Raider.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?
What flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising.
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.