DoS jokes
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
Memes
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Answer: Ho Lee Fuk.
I like abusing orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do you call something that has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people!
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suicide Squad.