DoS jokes
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).
One day I was very happy. I managed to win the lottery and receive a free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia!
Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived toward me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why he is doing this, only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.
Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruining my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
Memes
What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?
A bath bomb.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows. No body, nose.
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!