DoS jokes

Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.

What do you call a female Michael Jackson? She she.

Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?

The Parkland kids.

How do you get a clown off your swing?

You shoot it.

What kind of jeans do you wear to church?

Holy jeans!

If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall, and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped, and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick, what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell?

Put $25.00 under the handicapped stall before you put your dick under the handicapped stall.

What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?

... A boner.

What do you call a five year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.

Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"

How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?

Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"

What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?

A pilot, you racist fuck!

How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.

Why do men have penises?

They gotta shut women up somehow.

How do you stop a rape victim from speaking out?

Marry her.

Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?

Because it’s only bad when white people do it.

Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?

Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?

A pedophile.

Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.

What do gay horses eat?

Hay.