DoS jokes
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
Memes
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
Why do ducks have feathers?
So you don't see their butt. *quack* (crack)
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
Why do orphans like emos?
Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.
What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.
What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?
No one loves them!
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
What do you call a group of Emos?
Suicide squad.
What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?
... A quarter pounder with cheese.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.