What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
DoS Jokes
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall, and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped, and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick, what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell?
Put $25.00 under the handicapped stall before you put your dick under the handicapped stall.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?
... A boner.
What do you call a five year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?
Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"
What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist fuck!
How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.
Why do men have penises?
They gotta shut women up somehow.
