DoS jokes

What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?

Shampoo.

Where do astronauts 👩‍🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?

In their launch box! 🚀📦😂

What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?

Ereptile Dysfunction!

If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Hello, this is Godlygirl26. I want to help people with their problems no matter what. There is nothing that God cannot do. I want y'all to know that God is with you, not any of those stone or wood "gods" but a true, loving, powerful God. DM this right here and I will answer. Hope I can help you! Love, Godlygirl26.

You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.

Best way to trick your friends:

A brick falls out of a plane.

How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.

The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.

Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.

How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?

By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.

What do you call a Mexican that dives into a pool? Bean dip.

Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.

How do you start a dance party?

Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.

What do you call a Mexican midget?

A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.

What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?

~they're both a dick in a box.

When you see a deer, what do you say?

"Oh deer!"

Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"

What do you call women's rights: A blank sheet of paper.

What do feminists and tampons have in common?

They're both stuck-up cunts.

What do you call a group of black people?

A hoodie.

Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.

Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.

Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.

What do the initials BIBLE stand for?

"Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence."