DoS jokes
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father’s or Mother’s Day.
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
Memes
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
What do you call a person with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"