What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
DoS Jokes
I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
What do Cavemen poop in?
A Neander stall.
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.
Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have a touchy feeling for kids.
So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.
Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"
Q: What do you do if you bump into a koala?
A: You koalagize to it.
A man was taking a young child into the woods.
The young child said, "Mister, it's getting dark and I'm scared."
The man replied with, "How do you think I feel? I have to go back alone."
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck it off...
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
