DoS jokes
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
Memes
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
How do you count cows with a cowculator?
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
What do you call an emo with no breasts? A cutting board.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.