DoS jokes

What do you call an orphan’s picture?

A family photo.

What do you call German weed?

Mustard Gas.

What do you call a committee of emo kids?

A cutting board!

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

Why do gays get bad grades?

They don't get straight A's.

What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?

Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?

A pot-hole.

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.

How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.

Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.

Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?

Why is it ok to punch an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.

How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?

When the big hand touches the little hand.